컴퓨터 관련/기타
1 Did you know there are more people with genius IQs living in China 2 than there are people (of any kind) living in the United States? 3 - That can't possibly be true. - It is. 4 What would account for that? 5 Well, first, an awful lot of people live in China, but here's my question. 6 How do you distinguish yourself in a population of people 7 who all got 1600 on their SATs? 8 - I didn't know they take SATs in China. - They don't. 9 I wasn't talking about China anymore, I was talking about me. 10 You got a 1600? 11 Yes. I could sing in an a cappella group, but I can't sing. 12 Does that mean you actually got nothing wrong? 13 I could row crew or invent a $25 PC. 14 Or you could get into a final club. 15 Or I get into a final club. 16 You know, from a woman's perspective, 17 sometimes not singing (in an a cappella group) is a good thing. 18 This is serious. 19on the other hand, I do like guys who row crew. 20 Well, I can't do that. 21 I was kidding. 22 And, yes, I got nothing wrong on the test. 23 - Have you ever tried? - I'm trying right now. 24 - To row crew? - To get into a final club. 25 To row crew? No. Are you(, like, whatever,) delusional? 26 Maybe it's just sometimes you say two things at once. 27 I'm not sure which one I'm supposed to be aiming at. 28 But you've seen guys who row crew, right? 29 No. 30 Okay, well, they're bigger than me. They're world-class athletes. 31 And a second ago, you said you like guys who row crew 32 so I assumed you had met one. 33 I guess I just meant I like the idea of it. You know, the way a girl likes cowboys. 34 Okay. 35 Should we get something to eat? 36 Would you like to talk about something else? 37 No. It's just since the beginning of the conversation about finals club, 38 I think I may have missed a birthday. 39 There are really more people in China with genius IQs than the entire population... 40 The Phoenix is the most diverse. The Fly Club... Roosevelt punched the Porc... 41 Which one? 42 The Porcellian, the Porc... It's the best of the best. 43 - Which Roosevelt? - Theodore. 44 Is it true that they send a bus around to pick up girls 45 who want to party with the next Fed chairman? 46 So you can see why it's so important to get in. 47 Okay, well, which is the easiest to get into? 48 - Why would you ask me that? - I was just asking. 49 None of them. That's the point. 50 My friend Eduardo made $300,000 betting oil futures one summer 51 and Eduardo won't come close to getting in. 52 The ability to make money doesn't impress anybody around here. 53 Must be nice. He made $300,000 in a summer? 54 - He likes meteorology. - You said it was oil futures. 55 You can read the weather, you can predict the price of heating oil. 56 I think you asked me that 57 because you think the final club that's easiest to get into 58 is the one where I'll have the best chance. 59 I... What? 60 You asked me which one was the easiest to get into 61 because you think that that's the one where I'll have the best chance. 62 The one (that's the easiest to get into) would be the one 63 where anybody has the best chance. 64 You didn't ask me which one was the best one, 65 you asked me which one was the easiest one. 66 I was honestly just asking, okay? I was just asking to ask. 67 - Mark, I'm not speaking in code. - Erica. 68 You're obsessed with finals clubs. 69 You have finals clubs OCD and you need to see someone about it 70 who will prescribe you some sort of medication. 71 You don't care if the side effects may include blindness. 72 Final clubs. Not finals clubs. 73 And there's a difference between being obsessed and being motivated. 74 Yes. There is. 75 Well, you do. That was cryptic, so you do speak in code. 76 I didn't mean to be cryptic. 77 I'm just saying I need to do something substantial 78 in order to get the attention of the clubs. 79 - Why? - Because they're exclusive, 80 and fun, and they lead to a better life. 81 Teddy Roosevelt didn't get elected president 82 because he was a member of the Phoenix Club. 83 He was a member of the Porcellian, and yes, he did. 84 Well, why don't you just concentrate on being the best you you can be? 85 Did you really just say that? 86 I was kidding. 87 Just because something's trite doesn't make it less true. 88 I wanna try to be straightforward with you 89 and tell you (I think) you might want to be (a little more) supportive. 90 If I get in, I will be taking you to the events and the gatherings, 91 and you'll be meeting a lot of people you wouldn't normally get to meet. 92 You would do that for me? 93 We're dating. 94 Okay. 95 Well, I wanna try and be straightforward with you 96 and let you know that we're not any more. 97 - What do you mean? - We're not dating any more. I'm sorry. 98 - Is this a joke? - No, it's not. 99 You're breaking up with me? 100 You're gonna introduce me to people 101 I wouldn't normally have the chance to meet? 102 What the... What is that supposed to mean? 103 - Wait, settle down. - What is it supposed to mean? 104 Erica, the reason we're able to sit here and drink right now 105 is 'cause you used to sleep with the door guy. 106 The door guy? His name is Bobby. I have not slept with the door guy. 107 The door guy is a friend of mine, and he's a perfectly good class of people. 108 And what part of Long Island are you from, Wimbledon? 109 - Wait. Wait, wait. - I'm going back to my dorm. 110 - Is this real? - Yes. 111 - Then wait, I apologize, okay? - I have to go study. 112 - Erica? - Yes? 113 - I'm sorry, I mean it. - I appreciate that, but I have to go study. 114 Come on, you don't have to study. Let's just talk. 115 - I can't. - Why? 116 Because it is exhausting. Dating you is like dating a StairMaster. 117 All I meant is that you're not likely to... Currently... 118 I wasn't making a comment on your appearance. 119 I was saying that you go to BU. I was stating a fact, that's all, 120 and if it seemed rude, then I apologize. 121 - I have to go study. - You don't have to study. 122 Why do you keep saying I don't have to study? 123 'Cause you go to BU. 124 Do you want to get some food? 125 I am sorry you are not sufficiently impressed with my education. 126 And I'm sorry I don't have a rowboat, so we're even. 127 - I think we should just be friends. - I don't want friends. 128 I was just being polite. 129 I have no intention of being friends with you. 130 I'm under some pressure right now from my OS class 131 and if we could just order some food, I think we should... 132 Okay, you are probably going to be a very successful computer person. 133 But you're gonna go through life thinking that girls don't like you 134 because you're a nerd. 135 And I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that that won't be true. 136 It'll be because you're an asshole. 137 Erica Albright's a bitch. 138 Do you think that's because her family changed their name from Albrecht, 139 or do you think it's because all BU girls are bitches? 140 For the record, she may look like a 34C, 141 but she's getting all kinds of help from our friends at Victoria's Secret. 142 She's a 34B, as in barely anything there. False advertising. 143 The truth is, she has a nice face. 144 I need to do something to take my mind off her. 145 Easy enough, except I need an idea. 146 I'm a little intoxicated, I'm not gonna lie. 147 So what if it's not even 10:00 p.m. and it's a Tuesday night? 148 Billy. 149 The Kirkland facebook is open on my desktop, 150 and some of these people have pretty horrendous facebook pics. 151 Billy Olson's sitting here and had the idea of putting some of the pictures 152 next to pictures of farm animals and have people vote on who's hotter. 153 Good call, Mr. Olson. 154 Yeah, it's on. I'm not gonna do the farm animals, 155 but I like the idea of comparing two people together. 156 It gives the whole thing a very Turing feel 157 since people's ratings of the pictures will be more implicit 158 than(, say,) choosing a number to represent each person's hotness, 159 like they do on hot-or-not.Com. 160 The first thing (we're going to need) is a lot of pictures. 161 Unfortunately, Harvard doesn't keep a public centralized facebook, 162 so I'm going to have to get all the images 163 from the individual houses that people are in. 164 Let the hacking begin. 165 First up is Kirkland. 166 They keep everything open and allow indexes in their Apache configuration. 167 So a little Wget magic is all that's necessary to download the entire Kirkland facebook. 168 Kids' stuff. 169 Next is Eliot. 170 They're also open, but with no indexes on Apache. 171 I can run an empty search 172 and it returns all of the images in the database in a single page. 173 And I can save the page and Mozilla will save all the images for me. 174 Excellent. Moving right along. 175 Excuse me! Everybody! 176 You are at one of the oldest, one of the most exclusive clubs, 177 not just at Harvard, but in the world. 178 And I want to welcome you all 179 to Phoenix Club's first party of the fall semester! 180 Lowell has some security. They require a user name/password combo, 181 and I'm gonna go ahead and say 'they don't have access to the main FAS user database', 182 so they have no way of detecting an intrusion. 183 Adams has no security, but limits the number of results to 20 a page. 184 All (I need to do) is break out the same script (I used on Lowell) and we're set. 185 Quincy has no online facebook. What a sham. 186 Nothing I can do about that. 187 Dunster is intense. 188 Not only IS there no public directory, but there's no directory at all. 189 You have to do searches, 190 and if your search returns more than 20 matches, nothing gets returned.